OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
