I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
