Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
4 words: hood of his car
I just gift wrapped bread.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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