its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
