Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
