i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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