Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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