i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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