I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
