do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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