Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Randomize
