You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
