You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize