From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize