you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
