I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Randomize
