Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
The police scanner is talking about you again....
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
