She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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