Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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