Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
