Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
These tits shall not be calmed
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
