I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
