cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
