he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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