the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
i believe in u and ur pee
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
