Do you still have your period?
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
