One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
