I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
