once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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