so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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