oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
