i wish there were pregnant emoticons
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
