Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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