I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
