so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
