i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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