wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
