Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
