its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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