i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
