Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Randomize
