All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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