i just wanna soil my oats bro
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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