We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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