and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
