how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
