No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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