i permit you to call me
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
