So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
