I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
