I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize