I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
