I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
she smelled like a LAN party
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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