Cold hands, warm shart.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Terrible idea I love it
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
