shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
my poor anus
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
