But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I just had sex on a roof
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
