I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
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