You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
We're not piercing ourselves today.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
