How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
