she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Randomize
