yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
