Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
