Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
