I think I am morally bankrupt
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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